Raising Baby Lia

"Welcome to the Milk Mama Diaries Carnival (May).  This carnival is dedicated to all moms, celebrating Mother's Day today.  Participants will share various topics covering A Breastfeeding Mother's Top Ten List.  Please scroll down to the end of this post and check out the other carnival participants."

Prior to giving birth to baby Lia last February 2011, my hubby, Pen, and I came to a decision to exclusively breastfeed our first baby for a year.  To prepare myself, I've read books, attended seminars, talked to friends who breastfed, watched baby shows at Discovery Home & Health and  research the Internet on all things related to breastfeeding. With all these information inside my head,  I was confident that I got the breastfeeding process down pat that I even consider having an alternate career as a lactation consultant!  Little did I know that no amount of preparation can prime me for the initial challenges of breastfeeding plus adjusting to my new role as a mom when I came face to face with my baby. They said that having a baby can change your life forever..how true! I listed below the changes I'm still going through as a new breastfeeding mom from the mundane to the thought-provoking ones:

1) The Pain
My first few days of breastfeeding was painful both physically and emotionally.  Aside from experiencing sore and cracked nipples, I had guilt feelings that I was starving my baby as she would cry endlessly when I tried to nurse her. Giving her the formula was so tempting, good thing, my colostrum came out by her 3rd day. But by this time, my nipples were so cracked and sore, nursing was so painful that I was crying every time! And during this time, I was still recovering from my CS operation too. I went back to my books and realized that my baby and I got our latching wrong.  We practiced and practiced until we got our perfect latch.  Now, I'm exclusively breastfeeding her for 11 weeks and counting! That's an achievement for both of us.

2) The Reward
For every pain comes the reward. I'm always looking forward to our well-baby check up to find out how my baby is doing. I'm always happy to learn that my baby is healthy and thriving on my breastmilk alone that my pediatrician did not recommend any multi-vitamins for her anymore. This makes me feel that my baby is the greatest achievement of my life.

3) Fashion
The types of clothes I wear now has changed as well. I now have to consider which nursing cover would go with what outfit. I now have to say good-bye to form-fitting tops as i have to wear tops that are easy to open or lift for easy access to nursing or pumping. My Victoria's Secret bras are kept at the back of my closet to give way to nursing bras. I now have to wear nursing pads lest my milk would stain my top.  For accessories, I have to tote my Pump in style Medela bag when I go out without baby--good thing it goes well with everything.

4) 'Shameless'
In the first few weeks of delivery, I would ask visitors (even family members) to leave the room as I nurse my baby.  I realized how lonely it can be inside the room especially when nursing for me can take 40mins to an hour, when the guests outside are talking and having fun.  As I got used to nursing, I started going outside my room and entertain guests with or without a nursing cover (especially if immediate family members are visiting). I surmise that there's nothing indecent in showing a part of my breast as I am nurturing and nourishing my baby.

5) Eating habits
I have to be conscious with my food choices as well as there are certain foods that baby reacts to like the spicy ones. I now have to refrain from eating my favorite Thai, Mexican and Indian foods.  If I want to indulge, I just sprinkle a few chili flakes or a few drops of Tabasco sauce on my food.

6) Gimmicks
My idea of gimmicks has changed as well--meaning, no long night outs with friends and hubby..until I can pump enough milk to leave for baby or I can either take baby or pump along.  My dates with hubby are carefully planned as ' x' number of hours away from baby means I have to estimate how much 'x' ounces of milk I should  leave for her. When we take baby along, I should know beforehand the nursing stations situated in the place or any place where I can nurse undisturbed.  Most of the time, when we're out with baby, the preparation time takes longer than the actual time that we're out as we have to fix the diaper bag, dress baby, load the car seat and stroller. But it's all worth it when I see my baby curiously observing her new surroundings and being exposed to new experiences.

7) Working
The way I work has also been altered. Aside from lugging around my laptop bag, lunch box and purse, I have to add pumping bag and cooler to the list.  In addition to attending and scheduling meetings, I also need to find time and an empty conference room to pump milk regularly.  And then store it inside the fridge where my officemates won't mistake it for a coffee creamer. I also have to deal with separation anxiety--having spent almost 3 months with my baby can make going back to work a real challenge.

8) Losing control
I WAS the type of person who likes doing things according to a plan. 'Was' is the operative word here because when baby came along, all the things I planned to do, remained...a plan. During the early weeks, I resented the fact that someone else is in control of my time and my life. I felt like I was at the mercy of my baby. I am used to being in control. But eventually, I learned to let go and just let things be. I realized that the term maternity leave is not called that for nothing. I'm on leave from everything to focus myself on an important role--being a mother.  My hubby encouraged me to write my feelings on a blog which is a good segue for my top 9...

9) Learned to blog
My baby oftentimes nurse for 40minutes to an hour as she finds comfort in it. Aside from bonding with my baby, this allows me to catch up on my reading. When I got tired of reading, that's when I thought of writing a blog as I nurse, as my hubby suggested (like what I'm doing now).  This way, we can document her milestones,  my feelings as a new mom...something to look back to when baby has grown.

10) Mother's day
This year's mother's day is my first so I'm pretty excited about it.  The day is specially meaningful for me now that I'm starting my journey to good motherhood. It's a powerful thought that nourishing my baby did not stop after 9 months inside my womb, rather it may continue on even after her 1st birthday through breastfeeding.  This reminds me of a shirt I saw for pregnant women that says 'I grow humans.  What's your superpower?.' For breastfeeding moms, we can proudly say, 'I create my baby's milk. What's YOUR superpower? '.

Here are additional blogs from the milk mama diaries carnival participants: